|Knock on Door
||Hello. Who's there?|
||Its Special Agent "Shake" and Special Agent "Down" from the FBI Mr. Biden.|
Fellas. Come on in. I only have a few minutes as I am
running for the Senate and have several meetings coming up. How
can I help you?
||Don't you mean you're running for the office of the President Sir?|
|Ole Joe||Yes, that's right sorry. Too many things on my mind these days. Go ahead please.|
Agent "Shake" speaking.) Mr Biden,
as you know its standard practice for the Bureau to alert people in
office or running for office
about anything that could damage them politically or compromise them in
any way. There are are multiple files that are open in the Bureau
that you should be aware of. One of the files has to do with your
son Hunter's dealings and conduct, another has to do with
your brother has had with some rather nasty people and government funds
and the third, and I don't know how to say this without personal
embarrassment Sir, but there are some pictures that are highly
unflattering and compromising regarding your dealings with children and your abnormal attraction to hair.
Some people in the bureau think you could be credibly accused of being a sexual deviant, among other things.
|Ole Joe||What! Who said that? I will knock their teeth out. Come on fellas. You know this is all baloney and made up stuff. Hell you know we got that dossier on Trump made up. All it took was a little money and you guys to push it. Anybody can make stuff up. Come on. Gee whiz.|
||(Special Agent "Down"
speaks) Mr. Biden Sir, we understand your concern and we appreciate the
effort your administration made to bring down Trump. But there are many
pictures that have surfaced that are compromising and extremely difficult to explain. You understand Sir that the
world was a much different place from 3 or 4 years ago, and people look
at these things differently now. We are not here to investigate
you at this time but simply alert you to the possibility that there are
damaging materials out there.
|Ole Joe||At this time? You guys aren't kidding. What can I do about it?
||(Special Agent "Shake") Mr.
Biden Sir. Someone did take some pictures related to kids rubbing
your hairy legs and sorry to say this Sir, but it looks like you are
aroused in some of the pictures. Now we not saying that was the
case, but the optics are quite damaging.
Agent "Down" interrupts) Not to mention numerous pictures of you
smelling people's hair. Being attracted to peoples' hair is
medically described as hair partialism or Trichophilia, a condition in
which a person finds head hair as particularly erotic and sexually
arousing. Forensic psychologists in the Bureau describe Tricophilia as a form of sexual deviancy.
Have you ever been treated by a medical professional for your obsessive attraction to and arousal by hair as deviant sexual behavior? Are you on any medications that can be associated with suppressing that desire?
dare you ask me these questions. Don't you know who I am? I am
the Vice President of the United States for God's Sake. You can't
treat me like this.
Agent "Shake" and Special Agent "Down" speaking in alternates.)
Sir, I suggest you calm down. You were the Vice President and are
no longer. You are a candidate for President now. If we do
not discuss what we have and what numerous files reveal about you and
your your family dealings as well as behaviors that have been widely
observed in public Sir, your enemies and foreign powers certainly
will. The Bureau cannot protect you if we are caught by
surprises, and accordingly, as you can well understand, President Obama
and your administration took liberties with our powers to spy on a
domestic campaign that has created a firestorm. We cannot have
||Right. Right, Sorry
fellas, its been a long day. You can be assured and tell the Director
that my administration will do everything to protect you as soon as we
are elected. I will also talk to Nancy and Chuck to make sure
that your surveillance powers remain intact. Now lets make sure
those files never see the light of day, just like you took care of
Sir. We knew we could count on you and the Director asked us to
tell you that you will have the Bureau's and the intelligence community's full cooperation.